Wednesday, September 21, 2016

No Day But Today


This is us right now. Ruby has been asleep on mama all morning only waking to nurse and snuggle deeply into either breast, without discriminating, for comfort - only to fall back to sleep again. 

Sunday night little miss came down with a pretty minor cold, but a cold nonetheless. A mere 6 weeks old and her immune system has already been compromised - building her immunity and breaking mama's heart. I'm certain my emotional distress far surpasses her physical discomfort, but seriously - 6 weeks old and a cold?! Come on!

Over the past couple of days we've spent the majority of our time in bed, body to body, breath to breath, heartbeat to heartbeat. The luxury of having your baby melt into your body is something I will not tire from. It's nectary sweet and delicious and scrumptious and delightful and satisfying and purposeful and all things unicorn and rainbows.  It's everything. 

But in full transparency I have to disclose that all of this chill time has opened the space for the fiery monkey mind to jump on the hamster wheel. And we all know that when the mind chatter starts, not only does it run in circles, but it also has the domino effect.  Powerful stuff. Can we say, 'destructive'? And all the while we know this insanity (separation from right perception or truth) isn't serving us, but my God it takes some SERIOUS practice to let go and return to reality - that which is real, true, in alignment with love and trust that the universe has our back.  

Fortunately, by the grace of my teachers who come in many forms, I have the practices that set me straight, call me out and ultimately allow me to dissolve the stories I'm creating so that I can re-anchor into the perfection of this moment. So grateful for that!  

So for now. The money stories don't matter because I know that I am abundant and supported. The clothes (both baby and adult) decorating my floor are not the end of the world. Laundry will get done eventually. Someday I'll shower again (not sure about shaving, though). And in the meantime I'll find great pleasure in listening to the sounds of my daughter and discovering that when I go in for closed mouth smooch she takes it to an entirely different level. French style. It only shocked me once.  
 

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